Wow. My blogging platform that I use let me know that 2 milestones have been reached this month as far as the blog... One is this is the 200th post, and the second is the blog has had over 100,000 views. I just want to say THANK YOU to everyone that reads, that comments, that sends messages, that shares the Not My Hoarding Mother Blog. I am overwhelmed.
It is bittersweet, that I have had material to continue to write for these past few years. I am so happy to have connected with other folks with parents that hoard, with parents that are narcissistic, and parents that have imparted trauma histories on them. I wish none of us experienced this. But we did experience it, and I hope this blog is about the journey of growth, healing, and some humor thrown in.
Sharing last weeks 'From The Mouth Of A Hoarder' (FTMOAH) exchange...
"What color is your garage door opener?"
What... Why?
"Just answer the question, I need to know."
<Sigh> I think black or dark taupe, I do not know. I know I have lived at my place for nearly 10 years, but I have never paid attention to it....
"What color is mine?"
I have no idea. I am not sure I have seen the newer one you had installed several years ago.
"You mean when I was in the hospital you left my car outside?..."
No, I mean I did not look up at the thing, and I do not know when you replaced it... Why?
"Well, the panel was crooked, and ... Well, something is going on and I do not want to get into it..."
Okay <changes subject>
"...<Interrupting> Do you know where you buy those metal grates that look like cages to go over walk through doors..."
No I do not. Gotta go!
_____________
Okay, so I see where this is going. She is apparently convincing herself that the 'hated neighbor' came in her garage and has switched out her garage door unit.
Ai yi yi. For giggles I meant to look up at my garage door opener. I have not. I still do not know what color it is. And I do not care...
Hoarding, no one wins. No one! Some good news, just had the 11 year anniversary at my job, and I run my first obstacle race tomorrow. Hoping that goes well! Have a great weekend everyone!
My name is Lisabeth, and I am the adult child of a compulsive hoarding mother. The take away from my journey is that the hoard is merely a symptom of a life threatening, relationship-destroying mental illness. An illness that often includes behaviors from addiction, child/domestic abuse, and personality disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder. Stay, read, and please, by all means, intervene if you see a child being raised in the shadow of the hoard.
Friday, October 20, 2017
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
What is real? And what is not real?
Oh, life with a hoarding mother... The gift that keeps on giving...
She continues on her paranoid delusions that her neighbor is 'picking her locks' (does anyone do that anymore? I thought if folks were going to break in they use a credit card, a kit, or a bump key...) and is breaking things. She did finally go to an autobody shop only to have the owner tell her that her 'floppy seatbelt piece' was merely loosening due to age. (The car is 24 years old, after all!) I am not entirely sure she buys it 100%, but she always needs a 'wonderful stranger' to tell her what I have been telling her for years... And I used to run an auto body shop... But what do I know? And my mother absolutely ascribes to sexist gender tropes, so since a MAN told her, then obviously that carries some weight. It is exhausting. But, she is now saying that someone (the hated neighbor) broke into her garage again and loosened the plate on her garage door opener, but she feels he was interrupted since the repair person she called said it was okay. Allegedly the repair person told her to get the steel gates that proprietors use to protect storefronts that lock from the outside for the walkthrough door. Um. Yeah.
The weekend before last, while my mother's neighbor was on vacation, my mother called her stating the garage had been broken into ranting. She did not call me, and waited until today to mention this. I call bullsh*t. She has twice had this neighbor and her fiance come to the fence with flashlights after 10pm to shine a flashlight so she can change the bulbs that she claims the hated neighbor in the turn is destroying. She has also asked this neighbor to shoot her gun into the air or into the ground. Same deal, different day with this craziness.
My hoarding mother mentioned she has not been to her chiropractor in months, and that chiropractor is a classmate of mine from high school (and a major flying monkey of my mother's), and knows I was in town for the high school reunion. I did try to contact her as I was headed to my hometown, but she chose not to answer (and I know she knows the reunion was that weekend, as the chiro told her months ago). I guarantee this woman will say something along the line of 'so, how was your visit with Lisabeth when she was in town in July?' and a whole level of manufactured drama is about to be released. I am not going to take a lot of her crap. I called, I called again, and she did not call back until I was almost home. DONE. Consequences of her own actions. Then I may have a conversation with my 'classmate'. I am so done with her too.
On the good news side, I ran my first race post surgery this weekend. I was 6 minutes slower than my usual, but did not have to walk at all. It was a mixed course with pavement, field, and trail, one of the hardest for me. I am glad I am on the way to getting my momentum back, and I have lots of additional testing at the teaching hospital at the end of the month, but I booked my flight for Florida for Thanksgiving, so I have that to look forward to. I also will be celebrating the one year 'gotcha' anniversary of one of my sweet kitties tomorrow, and they make me so happy. I am working too much, and I am hoping my schedule will normalize a bit in the next couple of weeks.
Life goes on. Onward and upward! Thank you for reading, and have a great week.
She continues on her paranoid delusions that her neighbor is 'picking her locks' (does anyone do that anymore? I thought if folks were going to break in they use a credit card, a kit, or a bump key...) and is breaking things. She did finally go to an autobody shop only to have the owner tell her that her 'floppy seatbelt piece' was merely loosening due to age. (The car is 24 years old, after all!) I am not entirely sure she buys it 100%, but she always needs a 'wonderful stranger' to tell her what I have been telling her for years... And I used to run an auto body shop... But what do I know? And my mother absolutely ascribes to sexist gender tropes, so since a MAN told her, then obviously that carries some weight. It is exhausting. But, she is now saying that someone (the hated neighbor) broke into her garage again and loosened the plate on her garage door opener, but she feels he was interrupted since the repair person she called said it was okay. Allegedly the repair person told her to get the steel gates that proprietors use to protect storefronts that lock from the outside for the walkthrough door. Um. Yeah.
The weekend before last, while my mother's neighbor was on vacation, my mother called her stating the garage had been broken into ranting. She did not call me, and waited until today to mention this. I call bullsh*t. She has twice had this neighbor and her fiance come to the fence with flashlights after 10pm to shine a flashlight so she can change the bulbs that she claims the hated neighbor in the turn is destroying. She has also asked this neighbor to shoot her gun into the air or into the ground. Same deal, different day with this craziness.
My hoarding mother mentioned she has not been to her chiropractor in months, and that chiropractor is a classmate of mine from high school (and a major flying monkey of my mother's), and knows I was in town for the high school reunion. I did try to contact her as I was headed to my hometown, but she chose not to answer (and I know she knows the reunion was that weekend, as the chiro told her months ago). I guarantee this woman will say something along the line of 'so, how was your visit with Lisabeth when she was in town in July?' and a whole level of manufactured drama is about to be released. I am not going to take a lot of her crap. I called, I called again, and she did not call back until I was almost home. DONE. Consequences of her own actions. Then I may have a conversation with my 'classmate'. I am so done with her too.
On the good news side, I ran my first race post surgery this weekend. I was 6 minutes slower than my usual, but did not have to walk at all. It was a mixed course with pavement, field, and trail, one of the hardest for me. I am glad I am on the way to getting my momentum back, and I have lots of additional testing at the teaching hospital at the end of the month, but I booked my flight for Florida for Thanksgiving, so I have that to look forward to. I also will be celebrating the one year 'gotcha' anniversary of one of my sweet kitties tomorrow, and they make me so happy. I am working too much, and I am hoping my schedule will normalize a bit in the next couple of weeks.
Life goes on. Onward and upward! Thank you for reading, and have a great week.
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