Lisabeth has an annoyed... UPDATED

First the good news.  Just got back from the teaching hospital where I had my 8/7/2017 surgery.  I am released totally to resume normal lifestyle, including running and training (good thing, I have picked up a bit of weight that puts me over my ideal running weight, time to get it back off and into form to run a marathon within the next few months!) and the doctor stated I did fantastically well, she was surprised.  The second bit of good news was I had a tilt test the next day, and met my new specialist.  The tilt table was negative, so no POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome).  

Setting the stage for this... Because I had multiple appointments, one considered a cardiovascular procedure, I had to have a driver for the second day.  The hospital I receive care from is about two hours away from home.  I had to work the day prior to the two days of appointments, and I have a friend who lives an hour and half from work, and about two hours away from the hospital as well, but was willing to take me for my appointments.  So... The plan was that I would leave work at 5ish, take a conference call that would last most of the way to my friend's, stay the night there, and then we would leave his home at 8am to make my first appointment with my surgeon, then roll across town to another campus to meet my new specialist, then spend a lovely day shopping and eating at great seafood places.  I made reservations for a lovely historic inn that was close to the waterfront, and the next morning we had to be at a third hospital location for my testing at 7:30am, and we would continue shopping (and EATING) and then head back to my friend's home, and I would decide from there if I were up to the 2 hour drive home that night, or I would drive to work from his place the next morning.  

So, now, the only reason all of this is germane to this blog is I had mentioned my appointments multiple times in passing to my mother, usually in reference to my desire to begin running again.  I also decided to call her Tuesday morning (unusual since I called her on Monday morning) and to tell her again that I was A) Leaving for my friend's after work; B) I had a call that I would not be available 'on the road' just in case she had ideas of a captive audience; and C) that I would be unavailable for the remainder of the week, most likely until Friday afternoon.

I get a text from one of office folks after 6:30pm last night.  My hoarding mother had called the office, catching this person as she walked out the door (she normally leaves at 5pm or so).  She did not ask for me, did not appear to listen to when my coworker answered and introduced herself by first name, asking for this coworker (who has worked with me for 10 years now) and merely giving her (my mother's) first name.   When that did not bring down the confetti and party favors of recognition, she said 'Lisabeth's mother'.  She asked if I was okay and/or in town and alluded to 'she knows we sometimes get into things together' (she does not know SHIT).  She stated I 'call her every day' (untrue) She stated that she was 'forgetful' and I might have told her... My coworker told her politely that I was out of town, she was not sure where, perhaps a conference.  She ended the call, and I called her back as soon as I got her text.  Needless to say, after her other stunts of calling my work and confusing/scaring my staff, she knows she is NOT to call work.  But she did anyway.  My friend and his mother made several observations:  

• Why did she not just call me to start with?
• Why did she not call either or both days to check in how my appointments went and how I was?
• If she was so concerned about me, and felt she had to call my office, why did she not ask for me?  The coworker was the only person there, so she did not call earlier or talk to someone else.

I was flat pissed.  I felt okay after dinner with my friends, so I went home.  I talked with a couple of friends via bluetooth in my car who all pointed out the same things that I mentioned above, unsolicited.  I waited until this morning (Friday) to call my hoarding mother, and she said "wondered where you were, have not heard from you in several days and you usually call every day."  I reminded her that I simply DO NOT CALL EVERY DAY (like 3 times a week at most and she complains vociferously to whomever will listen that I do not call enough) and I had told her on Tuesday morning that I was going to be unavailable, and I had mentioned it before since everything was scheduled in August.  She said she remembered something about a test, but she did not know that I was out of town, and she said she had not talked to me since (an event- the state police were conducting a registration check so I ended my call with her to attend to that) that was Friday or Monday and I corrected her that it was Monday, but we talked Tuesday and I told her.  She then started harping on the coworker she called and asked for 'sounded too young' to be who she thought it was and was using depersonalizing language like 'that person' and 'that person who claimed to be...' and intimated that someone was merely playing games with her.  She got really defensive when I advised if she was concerned she could have called me.  It was straight out of the twilight zone.  

I got off the phone when she switched as to how the neighbor broke her light on the garage and all the paranoid stuff she goes through....

My friend owes me $20.  We had a friendly wager, and I do not normally gamble.  She thought my mother would ask how I was, and how the tests went- even if delayed.  She did NOT.    Hoarding- no one wins.  No one.  Have a great evening!

UPDATE- the next morning, which is a Saturday, she called my cell phone all-a-flutter at 8:30am.   My coworker (the same as mentioned above) and I were enroute to an event we had to staff, but she did not know that.  A ground delivery company had left a note that a delivery had been attempted.  She called the delivery company and grilled them, and got the sender information.  I looked it up for her, and it is a marketing company, so it is most likely something from AARP or some crap she has signed up for to get a 'free' premium of some sort.   I let her know that it was not anything 'nefarious' and she needed to decide what she wanted to do, I was out.  I ended the call.

Ai yi yi.  

Manufactured issues and a problem for every solution

My hoarding mother has a problem for every solution, and is 99.9% of her own difficulties.  I will just jump into the new installment of 'Hoarding, no one wins.'

Her phone company for her landline pissed her off, so after years of flailing them verbally on the phone and threatening to disconnect her phone, she finally did it.  She used portability to pull her landline number to a mobile phone, and wanted them to 'add a number' to that phone, as well as keep her current cell phone.  Of course, it did not go as expected, and after 3 days, 5 visits, 20-million something phone calls, she cancelled her new phone in a huff.  And promptly lost the phone number(s?) she has had for nearly 30 years.  She went to the competitor, and that has not worked either.  So for a couple of weeks, she has only had her mobile number (that she refuses to give out) and an aging, dying flip phone that she refuses to turn on when it is charging, and of course, will not use when charging.  She is looking at new phones, and found some crap flip phone as she REFUSES to get a smart phone so she limits her options.  I have annoyed her because I have offered ZERO advice or consolation for her troubles.

She is also angry at the newspaper carrier because he is folding her newspaper too tightly and rubber banding it.  She plans on cancelling that too, and she has taken the daily paper since the early 60s.  So... Inconsistent phone, no newspaper, and she does not have access to the internet.  

Her next gripe is with the cable company, and she may do something similar to the phone company snafu.  I am going to wait for that one with a bag of movie popcorn.  

So- she has vastly curtailed her phone access by her own rigidity and choices, and may do the same with the paper and TV.  I am not sure how she will entertain herself and she may become more paranoid, more delusional, and more disconnected with reality, more so than she is now.  Is this all part of it?

I have had some amazing opportunities at work that further the work of my agency, and are great for my career.  Typical of her, she questions 'why' I am asked to do that.  Then goes on to her usual laundry list of complaints.  

I have appointments on Wednesday and Thursday at the hospital that I had surgery at the first week of August.  I hope to be released to run and to start to train in all seriousness for my next series of races leading up to a marathon (and possibly ultra) effort.  I will also meet with the new specialist and have some more diagnostic testing.  

Work continues to be busy and stressful, and my elderly kitties are doing great and thriving.  I have several friends going through really challenging times, and I am doing what I can, but sometimes I feel it is simply not enough. 

I did look at the pictures of the 'hated neighbor's home' that he has listed for sale.  The wind chimes and the 'thermometer' he allegedly has on his porch that she claims are hers (that were actually my dad's mothers, so technically are mine) that she claims he stole are NOT the ones she claims they are.  Her descriptions of his house could not be more incorrect as well.  Just more validation that most everything she tells me is 100% bull pucky.  <Sigh>

I will continue to keep my mother on the very, very LOW contact interval of contact, and I refuse to be pulled into her utility provider drama.  

Hope everyone is having a great September.  Thank you for reading.  

Hoarding, no one wins.  No one.