Bang, bang, BANG. That is my head on the desk. A humorous call...

[Abruptly changing direction mid rant] ..."how do you use that thing and do it?"

Huh?  What?  I have no idea what you are speaking about.

"How do you shave the hair off of your lip?  Do you go up and down, across...?"

We have had this discussion 15 thousand times.  I am lucky that I do not have dark hair on my lip (at least yet).  That is YOU.  Hormone changes.  Mid-seventies.  That whole thing.

"... [inane description in agonizing detail of the hair on her upper lip and the inconvenience of it all] I do not know WHY this is happening. I let it grow out and showed it to my doctor.  Know what he said?"

Besides Ewww?

"He just laughed!  He didn't address it!  Not the hair on my lip or on my chin!  He just told me to use my favorite hair removal method!  I am not waxing!  It HUUUURTS!"

<Banging head> You can get it done professionally you know...

"I DID!  At the beauty school before it went out of business!"

That is not what I was talking about.

"You mean electrolysis? I see that place when I drive."

[Explaining the process and that in hormone/aging it can have limited results...]

"I am NOT doing that!  Why am I bothered with this?  I do not see other women that have hair like this on their lip and chin..."

That is because they choose to deal with it!  The women who choose to remove it (and some do not) make it part of their personal hygiene routine, often daily or as often as needed!

"Do they put anything on it?"

On what?  

"Their lip!  To keep it from getting hard!"

What?

"You know, your upper lip gets hard after you shave it."

Um- NO.  I do not.  Mine does not.  So you have a lip erection?  WHAT gets hard?

"[Ignoring my question entirely] So you do not put any cream or lotion on your lip when you shave?"

DEAR GOD!  NO!  I do not have to shave or do hair removal there!  That is YOU!  We are separate and completely unique people!  We are not remotely physically alike!  Remember?  The DNA contribution from my father?  The fact that he was a large part Native American?  The fact that I have essentially 0 body hair except for the top of my head and my eyebrows?

"So how do these other women do not have all the ...[I will save you the minute and gross detail] on their lip and chin?"

Because those that do, and those that choose to remove it, make it part of their normal beauty routine.  They know if they need to deal with it weekly, daily, less frequently, etc.  If you stay on it, especially using an electric trimmer, you should never see it.

"[Weakly] I guess."

So- shower and wash your hair each day.  Give your lip and chin a quick swipe...

"Don't get carried away.  You are weird with all your showering."

Wait.  What?  I shower at least once a day, no matter what.  And if I go to the gym, work out, am physically active, working in something dirty, etc. I will shower again.  How is that excessive?  

[Changes subject]

Argh!!!!!!!!!!  This from the woman who got her hair cut the last time I did, and did not wash her hair for 18 days.  Then went to the salon in Walmart and had them do it.  

YUK.