Oh my GAWD. You cannot make this stuff up... Just this week on FTMOAH...
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Talking about her nasty feet and her unwillingness to allow anyone address her tallus [sic] calluses and her plantar calluses... "... and I showed the nurse what I did and she just looked at me and looked at me and said she had never seen anyone that did that [preening like she did something ground breaking] and I showed her how this fit perfectly in my shoes and I cut the padding so I could roll it up..."
What padding? What are you talking about?
"I can buy them at Walmart for $4. The things you stick in your underwear to catch moisture..."
Sanitary pads?
"I guess that is what you could call them..."
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Since I am not working right now, she seems to think that I am available 24/7, and she will call from a blocked number (which I never answer) and then she will unblock and call me repeatedly until I answer, hanging up and calling immediately. I am going to have to mute repeated calls from the same number...
WHAT!?!
"Well, you don't have to be so nice, I am not sick, but I need an answer to something..."
What is it ... (This a Sunday night BTW)
"I saw an advertisement in AARP and they have a 'Jitterbug phone'. Didn't you say one of the folks at the office had one that they wanted to get rid of?"
The office I do not work at anymore? The thing I mentioned in passing over 11 years ago? That thing?
"I was just asking!..."
She is DRIVING ME NUTS. She has to get a new phone because her flip phone that she bought 10 years ago or so is dying. She is considering buying an iPhone. I suspect she won't, but ye gods...
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"Let me ask you a question..."
Do I have a choice?
"[Goes on like she did not hear me....] Do you have a lot of moles on your body?"
NO. No. And we have talked about this 5 million times. And I am not discussing this....
"Why are some red and some brown?"
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Hoarding, no one wins. No one.
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