Last week was my 48th birthday. Usually Mother's Day casts a pall on it as well, but thanks to my friends and those closest to me, I had a wonderful week and did some really fun things. It was a low key birthday, but I really enjoyed it. Only two years until 50! My mother had to point out that I am now at the age my father was when he passed away. I did make a discovery... My mother has always claimed my father died at age 47. I found a picture of the gravestone that was taken by a Veteran's organization, and that is not true. He was 48 and 4 months when he passed. It has only taken me 28 years to figure that out. When she mentioned it, I apprised her of that and her response was "whatever". The next week she made the reference to age 47 again. Revisionist history?
The week prior to my birthday I was in my home state for the conference I attend every year. I was sick and recovering from a decent respiratory infection, but I did not let her know I was in state, did not call her, did not attempt to arrange to see her. When she kept asking where I was for a week, I finally told her. She dropped the subject and did not ask any questions. Lesson learned from the prior two years... She has earned that. She has not seen me since April 2013, and I strongly doubt she will ever see me face to face again. After all, her response to her neighbor when she asked why she did not see me last year was 'we talk on the phone and that is enough'. Trust me, it is MORE than enough for me. Not giving her the opportunity to play power games and feel like she is 'disappointing me' by withholding her presence. I had a lovely time visiting former coworkers and friends, and returned feeling better than when I left. I slept well, despite the realization that my home state is very triggering for me. More on that in a future post...
Just a health update, went back to the nationally acclaimed teaching hospital on Friday, and am starting the testing process to determine the next steps in removing the fluid from my pelvis. I am a bit concerned it may have increased or my lone remaining ovary is 'cooking' something due to issues similar to 2013... Issues voiding my bladder, GI issues and appetite issues, exhaustion, and the like. By the first week of July I hope to have a diagnosis from the GI folks, which the gynecologist feels is most likely EDS, and a plan from the gynecologist. This all started a year ago this week, and it has been a journey, but I feel I am closer to a diagnosis than I ever have been, especially since the life threatening tumor issue in 2013.
Now... Where my hoarding mother comes into it. She never asks about how I am doing, etc., and if she does it is merely a springboard to talk about herself. She asked something about Friday and I told her I was not working, and when she asked I advised her I had a medical appointment. Her response? "I need you to tell me when they figure out what is going on with you because I am POSITIVE that is what is wrong with me too!"
Um, REALLY? Thanks for your concern. I forgot that it is always ALL ABOUT HER. (Not really, but...) She has been really challenging to talk to the past several weeks. Her new thing to attempt to assail me with is her concerns she has:
- Had a stroke in the past two years or so, states her memory is affected, but refuses to take her concerns to her doctor.
- Temporal arteritis (sp?) that could result in blindness.
- All kinds of random issues from the gross to potentially alarming
- Broken into her heavily hoarded three car garage.
- Stolen two gas cans and the gas from her riding mower.
- Returned two different gas cans with gas in them.
- Damaged her seat belt assembly in her 24 year old car.