Tuesday, August 27, 2019


Just a FYI, Blogger is not letting me reply to comments as a late.  I read all and appreciate comments, but cannot reply.

Humor that does not include my mother...

So... Been way too serious... Time for a brief bit of levity...

So, as you know I moved SOUTH.  I have mostly enchanted by the lizards, frogs, and what-not down here.  I am not anymore.  Remind me to tell you about my baboons-in-South-Africa story sometime...

Anyway, I stopped for gas on my way to work, and I did not take the time to shut the sunroof.  I got gas, admiring the pretty little lizards with yellow heads and orange tails.  You see where this going don't you?  They frolicked about, and some were quite large, 5-6 inches or so. I finished gassing up and went on my way.

I caught movement out my corner of my eye, and I looked, nothing.  I thought I saw something again, but saw nothing.  Now, I have recently had a stroke and TIAs, so I dismissed it as my brain playing tricks on me.

A lizard landed on the console and began hissing at me.  I  decided FUCK THAT NOISE I AM OUT!  I put the SUV in Park and bailed out.  In rush hour traffic in a congested area...  

So, I am contemplating what to do, and turning the SUV and it's requisite payment over to Mr. Lizard looks good when a gentleman stops to help.  He opens the door and the lizard jumps on him and he freaks and shuts the door, the lizard still inside.  He tries again and screams at me to open the passenger door... NO WAY THAT THING IS COMING OUT AT ME!  I refuse.  He releases the hatch, and the lizard gets going while the getting's good.  I thank the gentleman profusely, and get back in and continue my commute. I did
pull over and look through my SUV to ensure the lizard did not have a companion... 

I hit Starbucks for a drink even though I was late for work.

I later learned those lizards are invasive and BITE.  Oh, and  they hiss.  But I already had figured that out.


Wednesday, August 7, 2019

Oh my...

What a whirlwind it has been!

Since I last updated you all I have...

  • Learned of the horrific closing of my former agency.
  • Lost my health insurance due to the closing...
  • Got an offer for the job I wanted.
  • Quit the survival job.
  • Planned and executed over 1,000 mile move while driving two cats.
  • Had a stroke.
  • Began my job. 
Yeah.  You read that correctly.  I was out for a run near my home the 27th when I had a stroke.  The EMTs came and I never want to experience anything so painful and terrifying.  When I could communicate, the right side of my body was numb and and I could not move it.  

Three days later I left to hospital, a friend flew back less than a week later to care for me.  I am so grateful to the good friends I have ...  I miss them terribly.

I am getting better every day.  I had a clot and also some lesions.  It is probably due to the health condition I have, and I most likely will have to for additional testing, like a brain biopsy. 

I did not tell my hoarding mother.  She would start banging the funeral gong for me.  I cannot stand it...

Hoarding...  No one wins.

Monday, June 10, 2019

My 'sine curve' of a life!

Oh what a whirlwind it has been!  To catch you all up:
  • I was hit by a hit-and-run driver.  The driver was not found.
  • I had a wonderful 50th birthday party put on by my dear friends.
  • I interviewed the next day by flying out to the west coast and withstood a 10 hour interview process.
  • I did not get the job, as they wanted someone local and not as expensive.
  • I found out my car was totaled.  And my insurance company totally screwed me over.
  • I went ahead and bought the gorgeous SUV I put a deposit on.
  • I started a 'survival job' in sales.  Four weeks in, 100 miles on my SUV a day, and I have received ZIP in commission. Nada.
  • I interviewed down south, and they have made an attractive offer.  If details can be worked out, the kitties and I will be in a little slice of paradise near the beach.  I have found some place I want to live, discussed breaking my lease, and other logistics.  Now if we can work final details out...
  • My 17 year old cat had to emergency surgery.  Two weeks later, she is at the vet's tonight, she has to have a repeat of the surgery.
  • I have been in physical therapy for a painful and tenacious achilles tendon injury on my right foot.  I fell taking the trash to the dumpster (and had to dumpster dive in a FULL dumpster when I accidentally threw my keys in said dumpster).  I sprained my ankle and broke my foot.  Now I have PT for the other leg.
  • I have had a major illness flare.
  • Two of my dearest friends are getting married.
  • A friend I have only met via FaceTime will be visiting from Australia.
I could go on, but you get the idea.  What does this have to do with my hoarding mother you ask?  Everything.  And nothing.  She has lived in the same place and risks NOTHING.  I have learned from her, and I do not want to spend time just trudging through life only to reach the end and think 'what if'.  I want to live, really live, all of it.  Take the risks, and focus on experiences and that I care about.  And I do, and I will.  

Good night!

Saturday, May 4, 2019

Addendum to 'Why do I try?'

This is too funny, you simply can not make this sh*t up...

I went to the conference I attend in my home state.  It was wonderful, I had a great conference experience and a lovely visit with my dear friend and her husband. 

I decided to drive home Friday night, about a five-plus hour drive.  Long story short, on a lonely, mostly deserted stretch of interstate I was hit by a hit-and-run driver.  I could finish the journey, but my car is hurt.  I will deal with it after my trip to the west coast.  I had even found someone at the conference who was EXCITED to take my car as a donation. Ugh.

Guess that trading it in is my best option if I do not fix it.


The important thing is, I am fine.  Just peeved.

Friday, April 26, 2019

Why do I even try? Part Two

Continued from Part One...

So... I went to a play the night of the disastrous conversation in regards to potentially giving my hoarding mother my car.  I hung up rather abruptly when arrived, and when I left the Theatre I decided to call back to finish the 'conversation'.  I am low contact, but I knew this would fester into drama if I allowed it to fester.

It was nearly 10:30pm, and she stays up late, but she allowed to call to go to voicemail.  I left a message, and that was that.  Or so I thought.

I was having trouble sleeping, and I was playing around on social media when my mother's neighbor posted and asked if I was awake, and when I indicated was, she said she could not call but would text.  It was around 2am.  

My mother had called the neighbor (the one she said would not help her anymore) and got her out of bed at 12:30am.  Allegedly my mother was choking on a piece of cooked broccoli and wanted to go to the emergency department and did not want to call an ambulance.  My mother's neighbor took her, and she said my mother could not speak when she pulled up and took her in.  She had normal BP and vitals, and an Xray showed nothing.  She was annoyed that they were not going to go down her throat and 'get it' and when they asked the standard advance directive/DNR question she said "You will need to call my daughter" and went into high drama.  The neighbor quickly interjected that there was no need to call me, it was a routine question.  She stated that my mother seemed disappointed that more heroic measures were not necessary and they were not going to call me.  By this point my mother is speaking more normally, and the neighbor said she would call me in the morning.  

At 10am the neighbor called me.  She was with my mother until 3:45am, and she had to get up at 7am for work.  She took her home after the doctor (in frustration, most likely, since she refused to cough hard because she would 'aspirate into her lungs') had her drink a soda and rise up onto her tiptoes and rock back to her heels.  Miraculously it worked on the second try.  The neighbor was trying not to laugh, as she saw it for what it was, a 'GTFO of my ER' maneuver.  I explained that I knew something was going to happen, and my conversation.  She asked me to call after I had talked to my mother.  I waited until 6pm, and since she had not called, I called her.  She recounted the events of the evening, ignoring my questions and making it much more dramatic in the retelling.  

The next day I called the neighbor and verified the veracity of my mother's version.  It was exaggerated on several counts and at least one detail was fabricated.  A few days later the neighbor has not called her.  She may have burnt that bridge.

Hoarding.  No one wins.

Why do I try? Part One

Oh dear god and little fishes.  I had a stupid of monumental proportions.  And I know better... 

So as many know, I left my job as CEO in early February.  It is now 2 1/2 months later.  I took over 7 weeks off (I have not NOT worked since I was 15 years of age).  I have had immediate and enthusiastic response to my applications for the most part, and I am a final candidate for a job that would take me to the other coast, 3000 miles away.  I have shared this with my hoarding mother.  She resumes talking about herself without missing a beat.  

So... I am flying out there to see if it is the right fit.  Yes, moving far from my friends will be hard, but I have been wanting a change.  If I do accept, I will most likely be moving mid June or July at the latest.  If I accept, I have several considerations, but the biggest is my furry family.  My newest adoption is still a cat of sizable means, she is 22lbs.  She will not fit under an airline seat, and I will not allow her to flown in the cargo hold.  My other kitty is 17 years old and the flight would really freak her out.  

Now, there is a minor complication driving.  I have a luxury sports sedan, although it is not too old, I have driven the crap out of it, it has over 140K on it.  I am not concerned about mileage as it should run to 300K easily, but it is small, and has no towing capacity.  I would need to take a friend with me and there simply will not be enough room.  I also need rotors, brakes, and sensor, and the next service that will be nearly $2000 in maintenance and repairs.  It is a car that is worth $5200.

I found a SUV that is by the same make as my car.  It is used, certified and has a 10 year warranty that is unlimited mileage and transfers to whatever dealership I choose.  I put a deposit on the SUV.  It is refundable, so I am not out anything if things fall through.  Now, what to do with my car?  I could trade it in, but I would just be giving it to them to wholesale and it is a great car, a pretty car, and in super shape.  My hoarding mother's aging Honda had a valve leak, and required expensive repairs.  It is a $500 car.  My car is one that is known for extreme safety.  

So I called her and let her know the recent developments, and if things work out, I would do the service and maintenance of my car and give it to her.  She would not have to do ANYTHING but accept it.

OH HELL, THE CRAZINESS THAT ENSUED.  She responded by saying (screaming):
  • She does not know how long she will driving anyway because she cannot get to a new doctor to get her cataract surgery (she backed out of her last surgery 3 hours before).  
  • She feels that her memory is diminished and that she is sure she had a stroke a while ago.
  •  She has no one to help her, she used to to depend on the neighbor but 'that has all changed big time'.
  • She is sure (a different) neighbor is trying to kill her.
Then she went on the offensive.  Rapid fire accusations, insinuations, and questions-masquerading-as-attacks:
  • She demanded to know why I could not get a job where I am (that she has never visited, and she has refused to see me since 4/2013).
  • She demanded why my best friend or 'all my contacts' could not give me a job.
You get the idea.  I got off the phone.

Later, she ended up in the emergency room.  It was manufactured drama, and I will report that in Part 2....

To be continued...