Tuesday, August 29, 2017

More paranoia... Ai yi yi

Forgot some of the other fodder for the most recent "From the Mouth of a Hoarder' in the last entry.  How could I forget these things?  Because she is continuing to go off the delusional rails to use a train wreck analogy.

The things I forgot to mention in my previous post include:

  • Her insisting that someone hit her 24 year old import station wagon.  Of course there was no evidence of this, other than her passenger side rear wheel liner fell.  The car is OLD.  And having worked in dealerships and auto body in my past life, there are many organic reasons they fall.  She went off the deep end, called the police, demanded the 'cameras' in the parking lot be reviewed, and otherwise made an absolute nuisance of herself.  She stopped by a garage that a stranger recommended since she was regaling a doctor's office with this last bit of indignity, and as I suspected.  It took a couple of washers, a couple of larger bore screws and it was fixed.  The garage did not charge her.  She was almost sulky that it was so easily remedied and is still angry at the store and at the police for not looking at the video surveillance.  
  • Despite her neighbor giving me the heads up that she let my mother know that the 'hated neighbor in the turn' has his house advertised on a social media group and that my mother demanding she come show her on (the neighbor's) phone, my stated the neighbor 'rushed over to show her' and got angry when I indicated that I did not care if the house was for sale, for how much, and what it looked like- that I would not join this group and look at it, and I kept shutting down the conversation in which she accused him of damaging all but one storm door in what she says, is an effort to kill her.  She accuses him of setting at least 4 fires over the past 40 years, so therefore he is going to burn her up in her house after he kicks in the final storm door.  Nevermind that all three 'exits' are already blocked by a stage 5 hoard.  
  • She still says he is 'coming in the house'... References putting 'snake poop' in her basement, loosening the bulb over the washer, stealing her stalking log, and picking her locks so all her door knobs are scratched.  Oh, and cutting her 20 year old screens on her screened in porch.
  • She disconnected her landline, and tried to port her number over to a basic flip phone.  She cancelled that phone after 3 days 'because they cannot do anything right' and could not add a second line to the cell phone.  Um... Google Talk anyone?
  • She is going to the competitor today to get the phone...
  • She also has a cat that is only peeing a small amount, so she has decided since the kitty is inactive, 12 years old, and obese, she will have her put to sleep.  I was absolutely livid, but who knows what is true.
So, that is most of the forgotten FTMOAH.  

Um... Enjoy?  And not once has she asked how I am doing or feeling, and I am actually glad.

I am leaving for my friend's -who just was released from the hospital yesterday- tomorrow, and I will be inaccessible to her for at least 3-4 days.  Thank goodness.

Thank you for reading.  Hoarding... No one wins.  No one.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

This and that... Including 'From the Mouth of a Hoarder' (FTMOAH)

First, the easy and simple.  Thank you so much for the comments and messages wishing me a speedy and easy recovery.  Tomorrow is the three week mark from my surgery the first week of August, and I am doing really well.  I had my first post op appointment on Friday, and I am officially cleared to work part time to 2/3 time (Good... I have been for a week and half) and am officially cleared to drive (Ahem... Have been for two weeks).  I am walking, but I am not cleared to run.  <<Grumble grumble>>  If everything goes as well as it has, I will be cleared on my next appointment that is scheduled for the third week of September.  I should be off all restriction then, and the doctor did increase my weight restriction to 15 pounds so I can pick up my biggest kitty.  

Work is stressful as always, but this fell into a good time to do this.  I will hit a busy period again at the end of September.  

Life is complicated.  I will not go into the full story here, but someone very close to me went missing last week, and long story short this person had attempted suicide and had crashed their vehicle, resulting in being picked up for DUI and then sent from jail after arraignment to a psych unit.  I went from sobbing, sure this person had finally succeeded in ending their life to so relieved that they were okay my knees gave to absolutely so angry all in the span of a hellish morning... What a roller coaster this has been.  I am going to visit this week, and hopefully I can help in figuring out a plan of action that incorporates many, many complicated factors.  

So... My hoarding mother has continued her paranoid, intentionally cruel, and self absorbed ways.  Here it is... FTMOAH.  I would scream and cry if it were not so perversely funny.  I have to laugh...  So here it is...
:::Ring ring ring:::

[Groggily] This is Lisabeth...

"OH!  I thought your voicemail would get this... When you have a moment I need..."

Mother, nothing changes.  I have been on call for 11 years solid, and intermittently since 1990.  The phone rings, I answer it.  That is how it works.

"Why do you sound so funny?"

I WAS ASLEEP!  I was taking a nap!  Remember, had major surgery a couple of weeks ago?  WHAT DO YOU NEED?

"I need the corporate number for {the telephone company} and Walmart- IT IS AN EMERGENCY..."

[I looked it up on my smart phone and gave it to her, and ended the call].

[Calling in the midst of the immediate aftermath of my friend's suicide attempt] "I don't want to burden you with my problems, but...."

[The short version is she believes hated neighbor now has kicked 3 of her 4 storm doors in making them unable to be opened, that he is coming in her house, and that he is going to kill her...  And says that there are a lot of things she 'has not told me yet' and to call her when I have time.  Yeah... Wait for that one!]

<<End Call>>
[She has had some sort of rash on her legs, which she has been going to doctor to doctor, and she was convinced it was shingles, the doc in a box thought it was poison sumac, the dermatologist thought it was an allergy, and yet another doctor thought it was scabies which sent her into the stratosphere.  I almost wish is was, just to give her a reality check.]  "So I called the AARP tele-nurse and told her that I had the word ECZEMA come to me and she agreed that that could be it... I so HATE when I do that!  [She is convinced she is psychic]. So I ..."

So, if that is the case can you tell me the winning Power Ball lottery numbers for tonight's 750 million dollar pot?

"You are a SMARTASS..."

:::Ring ring:::


"You know a lot of, um, shady people..."

WHAT?  Seriously?

"Do you know any of your dad's friends that used to be cops?"

Because in your mind police officer is equated with shady people?  Really, Mother?  I have not lived in your area for 30 FREAKING YEARS.  30!  And, anyone that dad associated with would be LONG retired, and almost all of his friends are dead.  Those that are living are in their 70's and 80's....

"Oh... Well I need someone to watch things here, and stop this..."

<<End Call>>
There has been a lot of other classist, racist, xenophobic crap that has come out of her mouth lately, but I will spare you that.  One interesting tidbit is the hated neighbor is selling his house and I do not think she knows it yet.  This should make her evolving narrative where the neighbor is her key antagonist take an interesting plot twist.

Hoarding... No one wins.  No one.  I am glad I have a lot of stretch and bend in me, because this has been a hell of a week.  I suspect this next week is not going to be any easier.

Have a good week everyone.  Stay safe out there.  Thank you for reading.

Monday, August 14, 2017

A week today- a quick update!

Today is the week 'anniversary' of my last surgery.  Just thought I would pop in to say I am behaving myself (not working remotely hardly at all, honoring the lifting restriction, I have not tried to drive yet, and I have been basically a lazy SLUG... My Fitbit thinks I died I think).

In other words, I have been BORED OUT OF MY SKULL.  The cats have been keeping me good company, and I think they are going to be mad when I do start venturing out to work, meetings, etc. gradually over the next couple of weeks.  My follow up is at the end of the 5th week of August.  

So, as I reported, I called my hoarding mother and kept the call short.  I have been resting a LOT even though I cannot sleep... grrr) and I have had lovely visits from friends, calls, texts... But guess who I have not heard from?  Not a peep?  And who has not said a word to her neighbor (who is also checking in on me)?

That is right.  My mother.   I am on the edge of being the 'big girl' and calling her.  I may do it later today or tomorrow.  As I delineated in the previous post, I do not know what I am going to get but I guarantee it will not be focused on my well being.

I will keep you posted, I am sure when I do call her another blog post will be forthcoming shortly.  Thank you for reading, and thank you for your kind thoughts, words and support.  You make this journey tolerable.

Hoarding... No one wins.  No one.  

Friday, August 11, 2017

Day 4 Post Op for Lisabeth

Surgery was this past Monday, so this is day four post op.  This is the first time I have been at my computer, much to the upset of work colleagues and staff, but I have simply not felt up to it until now. I am doing really, really well, and the surgery was the best case scenario of the lowest invasiveness to remove the mass and the ovary, and it went absolutely flawlessly.  I got to go home the same day, and despite being in a lot of pain during the 2 hour trip home, I did well and only took two pain pills, one before bed and one at 3am.  I have not had any, not even tylenol or ibuprofen, since.  I am sore and swollen, but it has not been that bad. I am mainly just bored and antsy.  I feel well enough to buzz around my apartment some, but not well enough to do anything major or return to work.  I tire very easily, and I have had very close feline supervision from my cats.  My eldest has been glued to me every moment since I have returned home.  She is NOT going to be happy when I go back to work.  I think I will be able to drive this weekend, as I think I am to the point that stomping on the ground is a low pain affair.  I know my surgeons want me to wait until I see them again, but that is not happening as that is not until the 25th.  I also plan on returning to work part time and attending meetings local to my home next week.  I am on duty/weight restriction for 8 weeks, so no flying or heavy training.  The doctors are hedging telling me when I can start running again, but I intend to start walking again in the next few days, and I hope to run again by two weeks if I get (even a grudging) okay by the surgeons.  Eight weeks of no exercise and no work is simply NOT happening.  I will lose my mind.  I have learned lessons of the past (2013/2014) and will not push hard enough to rupture/herniate myself, but I am not one to take it easy.  I heard, and got, when my doctors told me that although they got all that laproscopically, that I had major surgery and to behave accordingly.  I am happy to see what I thought was mainly 'fat' around the middle was apparently water retention from whatever was happening.  I also know that the weight loss that is happening is also due to dramatic muscle loss.  Trying to NOT stress about that, but eating everything sweet that is not nailed down.  Oy yi yi.

Now that my pathetic whining is over, now to the hoarding mother.  I did not tell her surgery was happening, and I waited until the day after to call her.  I was very hoarse (due to irritation from the airway) so I could not play off things normally, so I told her.  She was was surprisingly chill, and resumed complaining about her lawnmower, neighbors, and other mundane issues.  I have not called her since, and she has not called me.  Not that I expected (nor wanted) anything remotely maternal, but WOW.  I may try to call her next week if I do not hear from her over the weekend.  Maybe.  She may be pouting for a number of reasons, some that may include:

  1. She has seen Dr. Wednesday and she informed her I was in my hometown the weekend before and most likely showed her social media pictures of me there.
  2. She is annoyed she was not told nor called after the surgery.
  3. She is annoyed I have not called her to update her.
  4. She is annoyed at any combination of 1-4, or all of the above.
  5. She is annoyed at all, none, or any combination of the above plus anything else that has come to mind lately.
I have not given her a lot of thought, and I am grateful to my friends.  One friend took me the night before and stayed with me through the whole thing and brought me home.  A few other friends have stopped by to check in and take me to lunch or dinner, and etc.  One friend is coming to stay this weekend, and another is stopping by on her way back home to NC.  I am doing well at accepting what is offered, but still struggle with asking for what I need.  Sometimes progress comes in small steps!

I need to shower, and perhaps I will try a walk around my community while the property maintenance and management folks are buzzing around.  I may try driving tonight, or most likely, order take out via a delivery service.  Boredom will not kill me, however it IS killing my credit card as I seem to keep finding myself on Amazon.  BAD!  

Have a great day all, and thank you for thinking of me.  

Hoarding, no one wins... But some of us escape... Not necessarily unscathed, but we escape.