Monday, March 4, 2019

At long last- From The Mouth Of A Hoarder... (FTMOAH!)

Oh my GAWD.   You cannot make this stuff up...  Just this week on FTMOAH...
Talking about her nasty feet and her unwillingness to allow anyone address her tallus [sic] calluses and her plantar calluses... "... and I showed the nurse what I did and she just looked at me and looked at me and said she had never seen anyone that did that [preening like she did something ground breaking] and I showed her how this fit perfectly in my shoes and I cut the padding so I could roll it up..."

What padding?  What are you talking about?

"I can buy them at Walmart for $4.  The things you stick in your underwear to catch moisture..."

Sanitary pads?  

"I guess that is what you could call them..."
Since I am not working right now, she seems to think that I am available 24/7, and she will call from a blocked number (which I never answer) and then she will unblock and call me repeatedly until I answer, hanging up and calling immediately.  I am going to have to mute repeated calls from the same number...


"Well, you don't have to be so nice, I am not sick, but I need an answer to something..."

What is it ... (This a Sunday night BTW)

"I saw an advertisement in AARP and they have a 'Jitterbug phone'.  Didn't you say one of the folks at the office had one that they wanted to get rid of?"

The office I do not work at anymore?  The thing I mentioned in passing over 11 years ago?  That thing?

"I was just asking!..."

She is DRIVING ME NUTS.  She has to get a new phone because her flip phone that she bought 10 years ago or so is dying.  She is considering buying an iPhone.  I suspect she won't, but ye gods...
"Let me ask you a question..."

Do I have a choice?

"[Goes on like she did not hear me....] Do you have a lot of moles on your body?"

NO.  No.  And we have talked about this 5 million times.  And I am not discussing this....

"Why are some red and some brown?"
Hoarding, no one wins.   No one.