Friday, February 8, 2019

She had a glimmer...

I think 2019 is my year for saying 'enough'.  It is not even 6 weeks in and I have set some strong boundaries with a few folks that needed it, and I resigned my position today, without notice, as things had devolved until I was in most untenable situation and was being treated in an hostile, unprofessional, and abusive manner.  I am sad because I love the agency, the people we serve, and my dedicated staff, but I could not stand one more moment.  

I finally shared with my hoarding mother about Tuesday or Wednesday of this week.  She was so angry, but supportive.  I was shocked.  She offered to let me stay at her home and acknowledged it was beyond her.  (I will pass... But appreciated the thought.)  Today was the day.  She then used things as a springboard to talk about work issues from 50 years ago...

At least there was a glimmer.  I have ugly cried all day, and I need to get myself together as a friend is picking me up to go to another friend's art showing.

Have a good weekend.


  1. I'm sorry to hear that you had to resign your position but you cannot stay where you are being treated in an abusive way. All best wishes for future endeavours.

  2. Nelly,

    Thank you so much. It is so hard to see that you are figuratively, if not literally, dying by inches. I plan to rest, to heal, and figure out what I want to do with my 'work life'. I do not plan on losing myself again.

  3. I'm glad you are strong enough to know when it's time to go. I'm rooting for ya!

  4. Lisabeth, I came across your blog by chance, and I want to commend you for speaking about your experience. My colleague and I train people to help in hoarding situations. Your appeal to "do something to help" the children is a message we want to get out too. I couldn't see a way to contact you privately, so apologies for doing it here.
    If you are interested in writing a blog post for our site - Hoarding Home Solutions, please get in touch. You can take a look at what we do here -

    We train people who encounter hoarding situations - family, support workers and independent service providers - in ways to do it ethically and sustainably.

    Good on you for speaking out.

    Angela Esnouf

  5. Angela:

    I would be happy to! I can be contacted at

    Thank you so much!

  6. I had a tough day myself, and ran across your blog. I resigned a very good position about 6 years ago - because of a very abusive, morbidly obese, angry manager. I think that having grown up in an abusive home, with a toxic mother - that initially, the work environment was not anything out of the ordinary. I was accustomed to the verbal and emotional abuse. My mother, by the way, after I left this environment was so ashamed of me. My true friends were proud and supportive.

  7. Thank you for sharing that. ((Hugs)) It is amazing (in a sad way) what becomes normalized for those of us who have experienced homes, and toxicity in those homes. I am glad you got away! Nearly 7 weeks out, I am doing wonderful, and am starting to interview with organizations both local and far away. The only regret? I did not leave sooner.