Monday, December 10, 2012

To quote Bill Engvall... "Here's your sign." Yep... More crazy quotes from my hoarding mom.

Sometimes these little gems just tumble out during conversations with my hoarding mother.  I do my best to get her see that reality is often outside her perception... and I often FAIL.  Now- on to more batshit crazy...
...Long litany of complaints about the power going off for about an hour mid-day this week...
"I went to get the phone to report it, and it did not work!  So the phone was out too!  And this was just CRAZY.  I called the phone company from my cell phone and they did a few things, and said my line was working..."

Interrupting- Wait... did you try to call the electric and the phone company on the cordless phone?

"Why yes!  Why wouldn't I? And there was no dial tone!" 

Interrupting again- Um, the cordless phone needs electricity to work...

"That is STUPID.  I had charged it all night.  The handset was fully charged.  It was natural to assume it would work."

Um... NO.  The handset is basically a radio receiver  and it needs the base, that runs of power, to communicate with/send and receive signals.  Major oversimplification... but...

"That is what the phone person said.  I did not believe her at first ... you know how some of these young girls are... but when I picked it up it had a dial tone!"

Same conversation, litany of tribulation and woe due to hour long power outage continues...
"When I called the power company the recording said it would be 3:30pm before the power was restored!  Almost 4 hours!!!!!  What would I do if I had to go to the bathroom?"

Seriously?  The power being out does not impact the water and sewage, you are on city water, etc. so no electric pump on property... And you have a sump pump but it should not be pumping for that, just the washer in the basement...

Interrupting me, "But if the power is out the pumps at the water stations do not have any way to work!  What would happen if I flushed?  That would be HORRIBLE!  There would be POOP EVERYWHERE!"

NO THERE WOULD NOT!  Um-many water substations and processing plants use hydroelectric power, and gravity would also work in your favor a bit... [explain about generators, how water can produce its own energy, and other methods that a power outage will not impact the toilet]. 

"How was I supposed to know that?"

You had over 8 days with no power in July due to the Derecho.  Over the years, there have been lots of power loss, even when I lived at home.  It never impacted using the toilet.  Who told you this bunk?

"I thought about it - so I took a trash can, lined it with ..."

Oh dear god... I can only imagine some of the 'treats' I am going to find some day when she passes, if she has not driven me completely out of her life with her behavior.  And what is this stuff of late?  Progression of the mental illness that fuels the hoarding?  Forgetting facts that you know to warp your reality to fit your skewed perception?  

I know I keep saying it- but hoarding is a situation where NO ONE wins.  Not the hoarder, not the family, not anyone.  All I can do is find the humor... or start screaming.  Laughter is a bit easier on me than screaming... and scares less people.  

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