Thursday, April 17, 2014

Oh YES... It is that time... It is time for... FROM THE MOUTH OF A HOARDER!

Quite the varied list today, and these little gems are just from the past week.  I think the thing that is becoming more and more evident is the phenomena that many COH's refer to as 'hoardy speak', 'verbal vomiting', 'verbal diarrhea' or any other vernacular... it all describes the same types of self centered monologues that jump from ill defined segues to seemly unrelated topics. 

So, here we go.  FTMOAH for you...
"Do your cats get 'crusts' in their eyes? [Without pausing for a response] Well Lulu came over and I noticed [I will spare you the painful, obtuse, awkward description of eye hockey] so I got a hold on her and got a Kleenex and ever so slightly and slowly pulled on it and there was a tube of mucus attached the diameter of a pin!  Like a straight pin!  And there was no hair in it..."

I am not discussing 'mucus' with you.  What else would you like to talk about?

"Well, I could not believe how much mucus..."

Okay then!  Talk to you later. Buh bye.
"Well, they brought a TRAILER in next door.  It is an old one, and I think where they put it it is over the old septic tank the [previous neighbors] stopped using [in 1985 when the sewer came through] and won't that be a bigger mess!  I swear... "

Not your concern, and if you did not want that you could have purchased the property.  And honestly, you know nothing about these folks, and it is not like a trailer is going to hurt the property values in that neighborhood much since there are several within sight.

"Who wants to live in a TRAILER PARK?!?!?  I wonder what the zoning is because I just bet..."

Change the subject.  It is not like the neighborhood hosts Buckingham Palace, and honestly that neighborhood has seriously declined.  Honestly, the trailer might improve things.  

"What do you mean?"

Go outside and take a look at your fence, and your property, then ask me that again.

"You know how I thought there were no kids?  I saw a couple walking to the bus!  It is soooo STRANGE!  You do not see anyone out!  I do not know who those kids belong to!"

You have to interact with people to know them.

"I just want to be left alone!"

"I saw a guy walking with headphones in, and he was walking fast!  He was so big!  He was easily 400 pounds and I am sure he could not walk far... [clucking her tongue disapprovingly]"

Change the subject please.  You cannot necessarily gauge someone's health, strength, endurance by weight.  And fat shaming someone?  No thank you.

She is really getting worse, and more and more negative.  

Hoarding, no one wins.  No one.  

Thank you for reading...

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