The other day she went shopping at Walmart, an experience that she complains about sourly each time she goes. "Where do they get these people that work there? The idiot farm?" "You should have seen this HUGE woman, easily 400 pounds and..." You get the idea.
She went to Walmart, and has a handicapped placard for her car (that she keeps in her hoardy purse until she is parked, which is technically the correct way to do it) and for the past 2 years has walked with a cane. She found a handicap accessible space, and started to swing in as a young mother was approaching her car. She had the cart either near, or somewhat in, the handicapped space my mother was getting ready to turn into. According to my mother, she took her time, was talking to her child, having her child hand her things, placing things carefully in the car, and in my mother's vernacular, "just pissing around, taking her sweet time." Again, according to my mother, at one point she looks up, and sees the traffic backing up behind my mother's 20 year old Honda, and motions for her to roll down her window, and informs her that she is holding up traffic.
My mother's reaction? She went ballistic. Screaming and yelling at her, and called her "FAT-ASS" and proudly/smugly stated that she "probably did not like being called a name, but she [sic] did not care since it was true, and besides that tub of lard knew better to open her fat mouth because she [sic] knew that I would get out and hit her." Then she proudly recounts the other drivers looking at her, and felt their stares were those of approval and support.
She says this to her formally FAT daughter. Who has struggled with my weight since I was in my mid twenties, and I am now 45. She knows I do not tolerate body or fat shaming. So it should not have been a surprise when I told her that I did not want to hear this story, she was simply cruel and it was totally unnecessary. She immediately started pontificating about how this 'cow' with her child inconvenienced her and the others... And she most definitely did not appreciate my commentary on how she could have resolved that differently...
- Politely asked the woman to re-position her cart so she was comfortable pulling in.
- Waited a moment or two more and go about her business.
- Drive past, and find another handicapped space, (there are usually MANY to be had at that particular store) or run one of her other errands in the same plaza and come back in a few minutes.
- Did you have your turn indicator on? If she asked you to roll down your window and said that it appears that she was unaware that you intended to turn in. She got all huffy, but I have seen her turn her signal off and sit, stewing, looking straight ahead in such situations in the past.
- What potential positive impact did you think being intentionally cruel was going to have in this particular situation? Even if this woman was being inconsiderate or slow, what does her body type or size have to do with anything other than your own bias?
- What makes you think you know someone is a 'greedy, lazy, slob' from their weight? Oh- that is right ... YOU DON'T.