Monday, November 4, 2013

Wow. How small and inconsequential she has allowed her world to be...

Called my hoarding mother today.  I had been out of town for the weekend visiting a friend, and had not talked to her since last Wednesday?  Thursday?  I am not sure what day it was.

I am sure that I did tell her I was going upstate and that I would call when I returned.  

So- when I called I was not surprised when she had to make a comment about not hearing from me.  "So, what happened to you?"  Why?  "Well, I did not hear anything, so I did not know..."

Okay.  For the sake of argument, let's assume that she DID NOT remember my trip north.  Let's assume that she does not go over to her monthly calendar when we talk and write down any days I mention I might be off, trips I am planning, etc.  (My aunt and 1/2 sister shared she does this.)

If you were concerned something was wrong... wouldn't you pick up the phone and call?  No?  Really?  Well okay then.  So be it.  

She amazes me.  After asking several probing and pretty nosy questions about my weekend, my trip, my best friend's daughter's 3rd birthday party and new house, and getting NOTHING she moved on to the usual subjects.

  1. Her recently extracted tooth.  Think she should use a solution of hydrogen peroxide and water?  I told her to call her dentist.  She said to this- "All they know how to say is salt water rinse..."  Well, okay then, do what you want.
  2. Her neighbor to the rear, and her social activities with her new boyfriend. "She has 'run' with him more in the past few months than she did in all the years she was married to her [former abusive and deceased husband]."  
  3. Talking about her strained relationship with her stepson (the neighbor in #3) and speculating, and offering her opinion on dealing with it, which, by the way is ALWAYS the nuclear option.
  4. Complaining about the next door neighbor, how many vehicles they have, that the yard looks like a 'junk yard' and complaining about all the stuff outside.
  5. Complaining that the same neighbors park 4 cars against the fence to benefit from her dusk to dawn light and do not even turn on their front porch light.  The NERVE! 
  6. How she had planned 'if she ever got the basement cleared out' to put her crappy, hoarded, peed on and gross living room furniture downstairs and have that be the animals' apartment.  "I guess that will never happen... long suffering sigh..."  I did state there are people who help with that kind of thing, that I could give her some names... she acted like she did not hear it of course.
  7. She was complaining about a neighbor of a hoardy acquaintance.  The neighbor of this woman is a Realtor  and at one time this person was moving to a faraway state, and listed the house.  Of course that blew up in a hoarded fury and she returned.  She allegedly, from across the street, overheard this woman tell a visitor that she could not even show the house, it smelled so bad of cigarettes and pee.  My hoarding mother was all indignant, and was getting on her soapbox.  I took the wind out of her sails by telling her ... "It's true.  Remember the stuff you sent me from her?  It simply REEKED."  Sputter, sputter, excuse, excuse.  Stated she has been in her house and she does not smell a thing!  Um... reminded her she cannot smell at all.  Reminded her of the previous dog's incontinence, and the fact she has never housebroken her puppy.  I suspect that subject will not come up again anytime soon.
I was waiting for her to say something like... "Now I suppose you will say my house stinks..." but she did not.  I think she knows better.

WOW.  Nothing earth shattering... but again, the level of insight is spectacularly poor, yet she is still able to maintain her stance of denial.

<Shaking my head>  Enjoy your week, and thank you for reading.

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