Friday, June 3, 2016

My Hoarding Mother- the Godfather Wannabe

This has not been a spectacular week.  Ergo three posts in quick succession.

I get a text from my hoarding mother's neighbor, asking if I can call her.  I was in a meeting with my management staff, but I called as soon as I dropped them off at the office and went to park my car.

ARGH.  My mother called her, and was being cagey and obtuse.  She finally whisper-asked "Do you know anyone that would do something, well, ornery?"  The neighbor heard her, but made her ask a couple more times, and each time my mother asked a different way... calling it 'devious' and 'illegal' and mumbled something about she needed a 'bad' person to even things out, she was tired of the harassment she is receiving from a couple of neighbors.  I shared with the neighbor that my mother called yelling the other day that the hated neighbor "in the turn" came into her yard and stole her 40 year old tiger lily bush and it is now in his yard.  The neighbor replied that she has been past her yard, and there is nothing dug up or missing, and the things she is accusing this man of stealing are still hoarded in her yard.  Shocker...

The neighbor told her NO... All the people she knows are good, and recounted my hoarding mother's other attempts to 'hire someone' in 1995 and again in 2000.  I was aware of both since she had also contacted former friends of mine who she considered to be 'edgy' or 'bad'.  She was trying to find someone to harm my soon-to-be-first-ex-husband, and trying to find someone five years later to break into her estranged sister's home and dognap her beloved dog... I will not go into details what she intended to do with the dog, but it was soulless and horrible.  She was never able to execute either plan, and no one will speak up to law enforcement because they are afraid of her and what she personally might do.  

I urged the neighbor to talk to the chief of police in that town, but she is afraid that will result in a scorched earth reaction.  Ugh.  I feel so helpless to do anything helpful.  I waited a few days and called her, and she casually asked the name of a friend from high school and college that she considers 'questionable' and got very huffy and defensive when I asked her why... and did not provide her any information.  She will find him I am convinced, but we are connected on social media and I know he will contact me.  I suspect she will also contact others, who will reach out to me.

She is dangerous.  This is why I keep her very low contact, and have not gone no contact... but that day is coming.

The neighbor echoed my (second) ex-husband who is one of my best friends.  In the past month they have both stated they wish she would just quietly and quickly pass so I can be free.  I do not want that, but I understand the frustration and the caring for me that is behind such a terrible sentiment.

This is not going to end well.  My hope is my mother does not harm anyone else, and if she has to harm someone, that it is only herself.  I am reaching out to the police chief (who I went to high school with) to 'blue sky' this situation.  If I can do something to prevent harm to others, I have to.  

Wish me luck.  

1 comment:

  1. I do wish you luck! I can totally understand why they made the "quickly pass" statement but ugh! How awful to feel that way. Your Mom needs a keeper but we both know THAT isn't going to happen. What a terrible situation to be stuck in. I'm rooting for your success.