Guess who just hit the short list of folks that 'Lisabeth will not accept calls from on her mobile or office phone'?
That would be correct. My hoarding mother... Actually, I think she is the only person on that particular list.
She called my cell this evening with a question. Then she asks if I am still at work. I affirm that, indeed, I am. The shrieking of a traumatized child in the background should clue her in I am not at home. She makes the usual 'you are there late' comments- and I let her know I am working on a curriculum for a group in another state on Sexual Assault/Child Sexual Assault/Adverse Childhood Experiences/Being a Challenging Client. She wanted to know why I was doing it... Because I was ASKED to. Why me? <SMDH> Because it is my area of expertise. Been doing this work in one way or another for the past 25 years. She again asked 'but of all the people they could have asked... why YOU? Or did you contact them and offer?" Oh. I get it.
I am proud of myself. I kept my voice silky smooth and with no annoyed inflection (a staff member was nearby and commented on it) I stated: "That would be because some folks consider me an expert in my field due to many things, my education, my experience, my tenure, my breadth of service in working with folks impacted by trauma, and my keen understanding of trauma from a variety of vantage points. I cannot continue this conversation, I need to go. Buh bye!"
She was still sputtering when I hung up.
Seriously? And I know that was really obnoxious of me... but ... it felt GOOD.
Good night everyone. Thank you for reading, and best wishes for a happy and prosperous 2014.
Not obnoxious at all. Honest, true. Your mother needed to hear it.
ReplyDeleteNelly:
ReplyDeleteCannot. Await. My. Next. Phonecall. This should be lovely. I think I will call way after the start of the New Year. Is April too long to delay?
Hope your New Year's Eve is merry, safe, and what you want it to be. Best wishes for 2014!
-Lisabeth
*banging my head on desk* I wish I could not relate. I wish I could not relate.
ReplyDeleteMy momster was banned from 8 to 5 contact over 20 years ago. I. Just. Cant. You shouldn't either. I'm very impressed with you right now.
On another note, my momster had two strokes between Thanksgiving and Xmas and pneumonia until NYE. I'm treading carefully around family (read: avoiding) and friends as they are wondering why I'm not sitting at her side holding her hand. I'm feeling very awkward and defensive these days and only telling you this because I have not been very supported of late. Do not let your mother manipulate you.
Happy New year! I hope 2014 is the best yet.
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with all this. It is a heavy, heavy load when you do not have the dysfunction and what seems to be the absolute refusal of folks to understand that for some of us, there is another vantage, and it is very, very different than their 'personal truth'. I am so sorry you are not receiving the support you need, and deserve. ((Hugs)) Hang in there. I keep hoping that 2014 is a great year for you and I both. We need it.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you.
-Lisabeth